Kyler- I Know You!

The first time I held Kyler when he was born and looked into his eyes the first thought I had was "Oh no, he knows I have no idea what I am doing!" Then I thought "Why did I think that? He is just a baby and I know what I am doing....kind of." Kyler had such deep eyes that seemed to hold all the answers and all the knowlege of the world. It looked as if he had been in this world a 100 times. This was before we knew anything about cf. I realize now he probably did have some knowlege about what was to come and he was right...I had no idea what I was doing. As I have said before, he has taught me so much! About life, love, happiness, strength, laughter, fun, living, looking on the bright side, smiling and the list goes on and on! But one thing he has taught me is that I 'think' too much!

Kyler looks just like Paul. He has from the start and all I heard when he was born was how much he looked like Paul. 'Paul, he is your mini me.' 'Paul, he is your clone, twin, exact same,can't tell you two apart, Ect, ect, ect. ' I am glad he looks like Paul, after all Paul is very handsome!! So Kyler has his looks going for him thats for sure!! Tall, dark and handsome!! But the inside of Kyler, well thats a different story! Kyler and me have the same brain. Same thinking. Our brains, Kyler's and mine, well we think, think, think and think some more! One thing my dad use to tell me was "get your brain out of it! Your thinking too much!" And he was always right.

We will worry ourselves sick at times. We will make things way more complacated then they are. We will think ourselves right out of the right answer thinking it must not be that easy so it must be harder. We will need to get from A to B but instead of just simply going from A to B we will first go from A to Z to Y to X all the way back to B. Yep, thats me and Kyler. But on a positive note something that is really complex we can somehow find the shortcut or make it easier than thought possible. At times when one must go from Z to A by means of Z to Y to X to W, ect all the way to A me and Kyler will some how figure out we can simply go from Z to A going the other way and not mess with all the other stuff. Yep, complex stuff comes easy to our brain, but easy stuff well we make it more....complex.

Yep, Kyler's mind has been a mirror for me. I can clearly see now how my thinking is. It's not all bad. We have some really interesting thoughts. But when things are not big deal somehow we can make them a big deal just by thinking, thinking, thinking. I have gotten better through the years. Paul has taught me how to cut out all the 'what if's.' If only I knew back then what I know now and of course since I know this I always try to tell Kyler all the secrets I have learned through the years. But like I didn't understand my dad when he told me to get my brain out of it, Kyler doesn't really understand what I am saying. I have to come up with little tricks to help him. An example, in baseball before he goes up to bat, his mind will be spinning and it ends up making him strike out. So I once told him to picture someone's face that you don't like on the ball and you will hit a home run. That worked for him....it shut his mind off from trying to 'think' how to hit the ball to just getting his mind out of it and focused on something else to allow him to hit the ball. Lots of little tricks like that.

Paul laughs all the time, saying how Kyler is me, although sometimes I think Paul wants to cry. Lol! We can come up with really off the wall 'what if's.' It drives Paul crazy but at the same time I think it entertains him.

Yep Kyler looks just like Paul on the outside but me and him, same on the inside!! I love you Kyler with all my heart!! Just remember...I know you with all my heart and head!!